Colton Coming Out
“Colton or Con?”
Streaming Service: Netflix
Availability: Started Dec 3 2021
Producers: Executive Producers: Jeff Jenkins, Reinout Oerlemans, Ross Weintraub, Omid Kahangi, Colton Underwood.
Colton Underwood’s revelation of his homosexuality was mired in the problematic circumstances. Prior to his public admission on Good Morning America with Robin Roberts, he was already at work on this Netflix series documenting his coming out process.
Reaction to his announcement was decidedly mixed. Some were supportive, some were openly hostile and others wanted to cancel him. This was not the response he was anticipating. His perplexed and pained reaction to the negative comments were captured in “Coming Out Colton.”
My belief is that any story like this is worth telling. There is something to be learned. Even if this story is something of a cautionary tale, it remains a narrative worth watching closely.
There is an intricate backstory. Elizabeth Wagmeister of Variety asks some penetrating questions. To get up to speed in more detail on what preceded this, check out her video and written interview.
Comic and You Tuber Dave Neal offers insights, and copies of some of the text messages exchanged between Colton Underwood and Cassie Randolph, his ex.
Here are some of the basics. Colton Underwood was a former NFL player, or more accurately in the N.F.L. From my research, he never played in any games. His career was brief.
Underwood’s public profile rose after becoming a contestant on several iterations of the popular A.B.C. realty T.V. franchise, “the Bachelor.” The show places one single man among a plethora of women vying to be that one “chosen woman.”
A.B.C. billed Colton as the “Virgin Bachelor.” The image promoted was that of a 20 something All American, chiseled featured, squared jawed athletic Christian with traditional small-town values. He made a point of stating he would remain celibate, until marriage. This was his narrative.
Underwood chose Cassie Randolph to be his chosen one. They appeared on the talk show circuit plugging the series. There were plans made, but never materialized, for a reality series to be pitched to Netflix about the couple.
Things turned badly for them starting with Underwood contracting Covid 19. He recuperated at Randolph’s parent’s home in Southern California. After he recovered, the couple broke apart. That was when things imploded.
Underwood started following Randolph. He sent harassing text messages to not only her, but her family and friends. He also began stalking her residence. He went so far as to place a tracking device on her car, which is a felony in the State of California.
Eventually she filed a restraining order. For reasons not made clear, she retracted it, but with prejudice. According to Underwood, they had reached some type of legal agreement limiting what he can discuss regarding the matter. He never stated if this was an N.D.A., or what the nature of it was. To date, Underwood has never denied any of the allegations.
What makes this matter somewhat curious is that Underwood invited Carrie Randolph to be on the series. She declined.
Missing critical information in a story automatically fuels speculation. Questions that go unanswered leave a layer of mystery. This runs counter to the transparency essential in chronicling a life event like this, one that requires being open.
There is the nagging impression that there are things Underwood does not wish to disclose. It even calls into question if such gag order type of arrangement even exists. And, and if it does is it not a convenient shield from embarrassing questions?
Throughout the series, Underwood, in a rather elliptical manner, makes clear something awful did take place. Details are never provided. There is an apology, but it loses potency and meaning when you have no idea what generated it.
In a series that presents itself to be taken seriously, there are segments that undermine that objective. One segment in particular was better left on the cutting room floor.
Cringeworthy is the only way to describe Olympic athlete Gus Kenworthy taking Underwood to a Nashville store specializing in assorted adult materials. Bare chested Colton wore a pair of white angel wings accompanied by a leather harness. Contrivances are a waste of valuable screen time. The nature of coming out makes this level of levity a needless distraction. It rendered him insubstantial when he needed “gravitas” the most.
Things did not fare any better when Kenworthy, and assorted muscle-bound men, hosted an exclusive all male party in a hotel in Nashville. The mood was decidedly not celebratory. Underwood was disoriented and decidedly disinterested. As frivolous as this segment was, it was part of an agenda. It was inserted to make a clear point about Underwood’s values.
He was far less stressed when he met a married gay male couple. In the more family friendly environment, the disdain and discomfort vanished. Here, the protagonist of this story extolled the virtues of family life, and the hope of finding a spouse, marriage and children. It was the picture of domesticity.
Carefully staged, and giving off the vibration of something rehearsed, this entire tableau was designed to make a gay man more palpable to a straight audience. There was a strategic reason why these two environments were placed back-to-back. This was superficially done to render a gay man acceptable to those uncomfortable with gay sexuality, and gays period.
The life style of morality, stability and acceptance is the gay who becomes a reflection of a straight lifestyle, right down to the spacious home and nannies. Note, I am not insulting this lifestyle, or anyone’s choice on how to live. But, the idea of elevating one choice above others is creating a caste system that places one choice as a morally superior one, and all others as “lesser.”
Disturbing and sad, those muscle-bound men were being used as symbols of “lesser.” In doing so, they were denied their humanity and dignity. Rendering them as visual codes, their presence was used to illustrate how ugly and horrific gay sexuality is. The preference is that it must be contained. That was the subtext. Gay men mingling and connecting is depicted here as something base and vulgar. Those men were used, and it does not leave one with a good feeling.
The aura that Underwood gives off is that of a person carefully prepackaged. Spontaneous, or moments implied to be such, looked forced and carefully manipulated. Underwood, for some inexplicable reason, looks uncomfortable on camera. He seldom appears at ease, or natural. He looks both coached and forced. There is a preprocessed sense you have of him. When he replies, there is a studied cautiousness that permeates his sentences.
Underwood discloses he was suicidal as a result of having to come to terms with his homosexuality. Certainly, I do not want to make light of this. In fact, I do not want to make light of his coming out. There is no doubt this man has experienced intense pain and suffering. To do all of this under the glare of public scrutiny is not easy, even if you want it. Being a public figure comes at a high cost.
Unfortunately, there are these pesky questions that keep reoccurring. His past questionable behavior, and his manner of coming out undermine him. His credibility has been deeply compromised.
In theory, there is nothing inherently wrong with monetizing your own suffering. I do not know if he was paid for this project, and if he was how much. Those are interesting questions. However, there is no doubt that his coming out in this public forum on Netflix has enhanced his public profile, and many very well lead to other projects that could potentially boost his income. It is nearly impossible to value how much, but having this forum alone provides publicity on an epic scale.
What complicates this complex story is Underwood’s past.
He has repeatedly denied he physically abused Randolph. That only works if you have a narrow definition of what violence means. To harass a person, send intimidating text messages, and placing a tracking device, these are all forms of a kind of violence. There are the threats. When someone exhibits this type of behavior, it is logical to assume it could become violent and physical. The fear that these actions create can be a form of violence
What is alarming is how that his atrocious acts are being swept aside. It is as if they can be wiped away by a coming out. It is the ultimate in white privilege to intimidate people, and then be in a position to be free to do other things.
Would anyone who is not White, and male, get this kind of treatment? The answer is no. And I doubt if they would get a Netflix series granting them the luxury to spin their own narrative.
Coming Out Colton is not about coming out. It is not about the process. It is not about the pain. It is not about the discovery and it has nearly nothing to do the LGTB Plus community, friends, supporters and the like.
This series is ultimately about the rehabilitation of Underwood’s damaged public image. This is a huge P.R. drive to make him look less like a creepy stalker and more like a sympathetic victim driven to illegal behavior by his own hidden homosexuality.
With all of this, I do feel some empathy for Colton Underwood. I doubt anyone hearing his story would not feel badly for such a damaged person. But, his history complicates the ability to find him either credible, or even likable.
After watching this series I kept asking myself, “Is he sincere, or is this just a big con job? Is this a way to make a quick buck?” Viewing a series like this should not leave these lingering questions.
Still, with all of this, Coming Out Colton remains something to see. This series does have the potential to start conversations. It could have the power to help athletes in small towns. The positives may outweigh the considerable negatives.
Then there are the questions that come after the fact.
Will Underwood go through the process of self-discovery? Can he do the homework necessary to be a more aware improved person? Will he be an asset to the community? Or will he be another self-obsessed celebrity chasing fame and fortune? Colton Underwood leaves questions, and few answers.
